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cool thing i found for kids today probably diden't know



My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo

on the same

cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but

we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I

used to eat it

raw sometimes too, but I can't remember getting


Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in

the lake instead

of a pristine pool (talk about boring).

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in

a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury

with a pair of

high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having


athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in

light reflectors. I

can't recall any injuries but they must have happened

because they

tell us how much safer we are now. Flunking gym was

not an option...

even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder

than gym.

Every year, someone taught the whole school a lesson

by running in the

halls with leather soles on linoleum tile and hitting

the wet spot.

How much better off would we be today if we only knew

we could have sued the school system.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the

national anthem

and staying in detention after school caught all sorts

of negative

attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches.

I can't understand it.Schools didn't offer 14 year

olds an abortion or condoms (we wouldn't

have known what either was anyway) but they did give

us a couple of

baby aspirin and cough syrup if we started getting the

sniffles. What

an archaic health system we had then.

Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and


I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something

before I was

allowed to be proud of myself.I just can't recall how

bored we were without computers, PlayStation,

Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital cable stations.I must

be repressing that memory as I try to rationalize

through the

denial of the dangers could have befallen us as we

trekked off each

day about a mile down the road to some guy's vacant

20, built forts

out of branches and pieces of plywood, made trails,

and fought over

who got to be the Lone Ranger. What was that property

owner thinking,letting us play on that lot? He

should have been locked up for

not putting up a fence around the property, complete

with a

self-closing gate and an infrared intruder alarm.Oh

yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization

kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been


We played king of the hill on piles of gravel left on


construction sites and when we got hurt, Mom pulled

out the 48 cent bottle of Mercurochrome and then we


spanked. Now it's a trip to the emergency room,

followed by a 10-day

dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics and then Mom

calls the attorney tosue the contractor for leaving a

horribly vicious pile of gravel where it

was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either

because if we did, we

got spanked (physical abuse) here too ...

and then we got spanked again when we got home.

Mom invited the door to door salesman inside for


Kids choked down the dust from the gravel driveway

while playing with

Tonka trucks (Remember why Tonka trucks were made

tough...it wasn'tso that they could take the rough

Berber in the family room),

and Dad drove a car with leaded gas.

Our music had to be left inside when we went out to

play and I am sure

that I nearly exhausted my imagination a couple of

times when we went on two week vacations.I should

probably sue the folks now for the danger

they put us in when we all slept in campgrounds in

the family tent.

Summers were spent behind the push lawn mower and I

didn't even know

that mowers came with motors until I was 13 and we got

one without an automatic blade-stop or an auto-

drive. How sick were

my parents?

Of course my parents weren't the only psychos. I

recall Donny Reynolds

from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the

front stoop

just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that

she could have

owned our house. Instead she picked him up and

swatted him

for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run

amuck.To top it off, not a single person I knew had

ever been told that they

were from a dysfunctional family. How could we

possibly have known

that we needed to get into group therapy and anger

management classes?

We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills,

that we didn't even notice that the entire country

wasn't taking


How did we survive?

~~~~~author unknown


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