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You know your addicted to MTA when...


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When whilst shopping in town you see an ambulance and think 'Hmm, i could jack that, run the driver over then drive into that Coupe over there to roll it onto its roof.'

When you see a guy in leather trousers and think 'Ah, an easy kill.'

When you spend five minutes finding some out of the way place to park in Vice City, turn volume to maximum so you can hear whats happening then run full pelt upstairs to urinate returning by sliding down the bannisters and sprinting breathlessley to your computer chair in case you are about to be attacked.

Alternatively when you develop bladder problems due to only going to the toilet when you die.

When there seems to be far too many parked cars in real life

When you look for the f10 button to see how healthy somebody is when you meet them in town.

When you refer to bedtime as an Unhandled Exception Error.

When you have a water fight and point the water pistols three feet to the right of everyone.

When you try riding a motorcyle into a wall to see if you can warp into town to save time. (don't do it).

When you spend hours working on the next release.

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When whilst shopping in town you see an ambulance and think 'Hmm, i could jack that, run the driver over then drive into that Coupe over there to roll it onto its roof.'

When you see a guy in leather trousers and think 'Ah, an easy kill.'

When you spend five minutes finding some out of the way place to park in Vice City, turn volume to maximum so you can hear whats happening then run full pelt upstairs to urinate returning by sliding down the bannisters and sprinting breathlessley to your computer chair in case you are about to be attacked.

Alternatively when you develop bladder problems due to only going to the toilet when you die.

When there seems to be far too many parked cars in real life

When you look for the f10 button to see how healthy somebody is when you meet them in town.

When you refer to bedtime as an Unhandled Exception Error.

When you have a water fight and point the water pistols three feet to the right of everyone.

When you try riding a motorcyle into a wall to see if you can warp into town to save time. (don't do it).

When you spend hours working on the next release.

lol dude! that was great! you made my day :D

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Whenever you play any other shooting game (Single player OR online), you instinctively aim AROUND the enemy, rather than directly at them.

:evil:

omg that happens to me too :S

anyway, im gonna write a story about an avarage day, but mta style!

you wake up in the morning, wandering why are you lying on the bed, instead of the floor at a military base. you understand u must have drank boomshine last night and got back into ocean view hotel.

you take all the weapons you picked up during last night. you remember that some of them were scattered around town in some VERY obvious places.

as you get outside you wander where's the regular oceanic thats ALWAYS there has gone to. you wander if its a glitch in the matrix...

you remember that you were working for some guy on a ship.

then you remember that all he told you was to kill as many guys as posible, with no reason. you wander about the guys sanity... then you wander about yours, and imidiatly forget it, as you see a man in some US navy uniform.

you shout "OMG! S4yLOR! j00 ARE S4X0R4Z!". the terifyed soldier doesnt understand what the f*ck is going on. he looks confused. you dont remember anyone looking confused ever before. then you reallise what he REALLY IS!

you shout "OMG! UPDATE!". the soldier looks even more confused.

you run back into ocean view hotel (cleverly camoflaged like an ordinary house), take a pen, and write all over the walls "UPDATE!? WHERE CAN GET I UPDATE J00 S4X0RZ!!!". then the thing hits you.

you shout "OMG! OUTO UPDATES! 1337 R0X0RZ!!!11!!11!".

you go back down to the street and look for the saylor. hes not there.

you shout "OMG! COVVERD MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!".

you continue walking in the empty streets (you dont mind people because there probably not synced).

suddenly you see a cop. you think "finnaly, a decent target!". you zigzag-walk towords the cop, expacting he will shoot you on sight.

as you can see his face you take out the first gun you can grab on from your pocket. it turns out as a green metally object. you realise its a granade. without notice you throw it at the cop. the cop looks surprised for a moment. then he starts to fall. slowelly he falls. you enjoy any second of it. the cop is now compleately down on the floor. you wait for him to get up for your next and final blow. you look for an another granade, but alas, there is none, but you find something else, you find your handgun. you think "its enough to finish him off". the cop gets up.

you shoot.

you and the cop look at eachother for a couple of seconds.

you understand that the cop is now finished, BUT!

he says "are you retarded or something? first you throw a green painted rock at me and now you shoot me with a watergun? have you been drinking?"

without thinking you reply "yes sir, boomshine".

the cop looks confused.

then you get ur third and brightest enlightment today.

you shout "HEY U DONT DIE YOU CHEAT! J00 S4X0RZ!".

after your mother takes you out of the police celler you reallise you should get out more..

Edited by Guest
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When you get hurt in real life and you go to the nearest hospital to get health.

When you get there and find theres none you swear loudly and look for armor instead.

Whilst in your jail cell, (for trying to steel police armor) you keep trying to type out /kill to get out

You get run over a car you die, then respawn two minutes later.

-5 if you need ot restart.

if your getting on a bike with someone, you make sure the driver ALWAYS gets on first, in fear of crashing.

You wear glamor rock

You see a mexican and you think "thats so damn lame.."

You think oy ucan pick up a gun by wakling over it

You think if you run long enough the police will jjust leave you alone

Back in your jail cell, you attempt to just rejoin the server

In the mental institution you smoehow find a hammer and start beating others with it.

You go golfing just to tip those silly golf carts

You see yourself in the third person.

Your about to get into a fight with someone and you think alowd "56k dont fail me now!"

Your incrediable lag wins you the match

you time out

I'll think of more later :)

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i found a guy keying my car not too long ago, i told him to go back to it's spawn and get bring me back a new one before i killed him... :\

in the end i had to shake him down for the repair costs :|

edit - also, altho not mta, I've played the ps2 vc so much the radar area has burnt my screen permanently lol

Edited by Guest
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You wander around town, looking for hidden packages.

You find hidden packages while wandering around town.

You find 100 hidden packages, then wonder why you still can't find the hunter.

You don't understand why you're arrested for running around with a flamethrower in plain sight.

You don't go outside when it rains, because you think it will lag you.

You never hit the replay button on any device, fearing it will desync you.

You're confused because you can't see your HUD.

You can see your hud.

You can hide a magnum, an MP5, an M16, a shotgun, a large assortment of grenades, an M60, and a chainsaw under your jacket.

You jump off the roof of your house, then you're confused when you break your leg.

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i found a guy keying my car not too long ago, i told him to go back to it's spawn and get bring me back a new one before i killed him... :\

in the end i had to shake him down for the repair costs :|[...]

Lol I was just thinking of that one myself: "When you consider blowing your crappy car up in case a new one respawns outside your house".

A few more:

- When you wait for some guy to get up a second time after you've punched him down to attack again.

- You tell your neighbor that just put his boat in the water "C'mon, don't be a jerk man, let me have the new core too".

- Ten seconds ago you were running up to him as he was backing his SUV a bit into the water shouting "Watch out, it's gonna blow!"

- When you get that uneasy feeling every time you're on the street and hear a helicopter flying over your neighborhood.

- Watching the shot put olympics event makes no sense to you: obviously no one's gonna win...

- Everywhere you go, you see grinding opportunities.

- The mexican dude that mows your lawn has no clue why you keep pestering him "to show you his M60". No comprende senior...

- You keep asking the girls at your local strip club what their best rotation is :twisted:.

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