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A woman goes to the doctor and complians that her and her husband never have sex anymore. the dotor then gives her a large jar of pills and instructs her to give him a few in his drink at night. so the woman goes home and that night she puts one in his coffee. they start to make out real hot and heavy. she decides that it aint enough so tha next night she put two in and they really get it on but she still isnt satisfied. so on the third night, she dumps the entire jar in his 32 ounce beer. well...

a week later, the doctor calls and the womans son picks up the phone

"So how is your mom doing?"he asks.

"well, mom's dead, sis is pregnant, my asshole hurts, and dad is out naked on the lawn screaming 'HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY!' :lol:

Twin brothers were named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe on hte street, mistaking him for John. She said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible." Joe said, "oh, hell no. Fact is I'm sort of gladto be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveld up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing her water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in front. The hole got bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy and it got hard to keep her upright. But what really finised her off was these four guys who rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they wanted to have a go with her anyway. The damn' fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl. While they were trying to get into their various postions, she split right up the middle!"

The Old Lady Fainted...... :lol:

Best Joke

There was a man sunbathing on a beach naked. A girl came along and pointed to his dingly dangly and asked, "what is that?" He replied, "It's my bird!" She ran away to play in the sand cheerfully. The man fell asleep. zZzZzZz. Later he woke up in hospital with pain around his groin. He did not know what had gone wrong. He thought back maybe the girl might know, so once he was out of the hospital he asked her. She replied, "I played with the bird and it spat at me so I cracked its neck, broke its eggs, and burnt its nest." :lol:

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