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[KFC] El Burro

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Posts posted by [KFC] El Burro

  1. Once upon the time there was the MTA Team. There was also gta, that didn't had mp in it, but soon Zeus went to sleep.

    Then Timmy got heart disease! Zeus little son Ares went to help Timmy, but they both died.

    Then Ransom woke up. Ransom ran and ran to a great place, where Posty goes and kills him with his m60. But then MAD_BOY comes en kicks Posty's ass, that makes Aeron do anything but stay on topic. Then IJs walks in with an owned stick and proudly exclaims "ALL YOUR CAPSLOCKS ARE BELONG TO US!!1 But suddenly he was kicked for CAPS, and then "nickl245 did come, spam and it was good.

    Two days later... MrBill walked in with his goats, the goats mooed for some odd reason, and MrBill humped me. me liked it and thought MrBill was the coolest moderator EVER! But now he isnt, so MrBill shot utopia and killed him.

    Then, MrBill soiled himself and started humping the goats, but something happened and a goat ran away, because he humped it to hard. So he fetched his lube and some sheep bait.

    Then a lamer named nikl came over and sucked everyone off the end of his Vacuum cleaner while he was wearing his poofy gay apron and weilding a picket sign saying: "Phuk j00 Rule, Sign 0n my Bo0bieZz!!1" .

    Next the lamer n1ckl245 was caught ironing in his maid costume by the mta crew, he was sentenced to an asskicking, it was mutual. The asskicking began and went too far, thus the expression "An April Fools joke, gone bad.

    But EL Burro was having fun, he was just about to whip out his Chainsaw singing "Im a littleTeapot" when... Phuk came and sliced him with the chainsaw and said "APRIL FOOLS" then, DrEaM4D was puking @ his little chainsaw and showing him his big old friend.

    Then,boss came in, slapped El Burro with a 'YOUR MY DADDY' sig and found bill humping a goat in El Burro's 'YOU CAN BE OUR MEAT' truck... and he died because the sheep was wielding a stubby shotgun, next it ran to the local Wal-Mart because it needed condoms but when it got there, to its great misfortune, it saw that the store was closed.

    So the sheep made their own condom and tried it on nikl, cause nikl is weilding a katana, that then stabbed the goat and then got stabbed into El Burro's belly that then got open and droped the drugs.Then the sheep fell on burros 'menu'(the bloody drugs!!!) and landed on nikl's katana.... then smeg head got confused and blew Nikl's face off with a stubby, found trying to escape, Posty and the rest of ULK go after Smeg to get his stubby but Phuk stops and kills all of ulk.

    Then... admin Aeron kicked Phuk out of the game for suspected cheater. Phuk go so pissed off he got IJs to kline aeron from irc permanently.

    There after Kent fell madly in love with Robpol and Robpol didn't exactly complain. They then set off into the sunset and lived happily ever after in an ice cream truck filled with pink dildos and ky jelly.

    Suddenly they spot Mr Bill running towards them, too busy to notice they shrug their shoulders and get back to eating the Jelly. Mr Bill climbs in the Truck and lets the Handbrake go, the truck then starts speeding down a hill towards a... rock and the truck blows up. But... MrBill and Kent survive, rob is dead and goes to Hell where he spends the rest of eternity eating Bison Puke and drinking the devils nasty juices. But MrBill and Kent then went to the Malibu, they ordered many tequilas and things got a little out of hand...

    They went to go rape nickl, and nickl seemed to like it. Then phuk came and nikl raped phuk and phuk seemed to like it more than nikl so nikl went in the kitchen to cook some... sausage for zoot and zoot seemed to like it so much that nikl gave zoot more of his sausage.

    Then zoot ate the sausage with eggs and waffles and it was good. phuk started crying because he didnt have any... balls to have his... breakfast?!?!?...

    So anyway, smeg went out shopping and bought some cheese, peperoni and...bacon to bake everyone a... lovely stubby supper, complete with garlic bread and molotov, but smeg overcooked it so he gave it to a bum, the bum ate the burnt supper and ... he died.

    So then a big, huge fight started and... then Wheelman's massive penis made them stop arguing, and get to being jealous... and Wheelman's Mum was standing there infront of wheelman and he realised he had dreamt having a massive penis... and his mom was playing with it.

    Everyone was scared and said... MADBOY STOP WATCHING UR PORNO!!! And MADBOY said... it's from rob!

    But then Ransom walked in and called Robpol86 a BOSNAR! Then Robpol said SOB just before his boss BUSTED him while he was extracting dextromethropolithan (drug) from cough sirup at his work. Then the boss called him a SOB and suddenly the phone rang again and some corny tisd.net customer said he knew robert pooley because he heard the well known phone call between Ransom and Robpol.

    And while Ransom was calling Kent with his free long-distance calls, he was also busy at work trying to mate big chinese pandas. He sprayed them with green flourescent spray paint to make them more attractive.

    The pandas not only mated, they..Ran around and gave eachother blowjobs and orgys....and [LsL]Dark helped them. Meanwhile curly was whining about his forum idiot rank, while everyone knows that he is an idiot, so they said... YATTA! and they all made madboyphpwiki-1.3.9 and published it on sourceforge.net, they named it after madboy because he was busted after being mounted by a huge animal in his...school bag.

    IJs started to melt and almost everyone began to cry, MrBill came in and asked for his.. goats, his goats were scared of him, so they ran into ransom, ransom took one and said: "Hello there u sexy thing - want to do what dark did to those pandas?" So the sheep ran away again, cause they tought it was bill in costume.

    They found a great site and they downloaded..... Vice City then they got mta, so the sheep met another sheep online and communitcated using bah bah and shit, and 1 of em got offended by the bah bah and shot the other sheep in the face and took his nose off, then the sheep jumped through the monitor onto the other sheep (undamaged) and dropped his nose on him then the sheep undamaged did a ninja kickflip and started to kick the shit outta the sheep with no nose, then the sheep with no nose... decided Talidan, MrBill, MAD_BOY and Robpol86 (which was revived again) should visit a youth hostel in the UK.

    So they did, and in the middle of the night Robpol86 woke Ransom, it seemed like Robpol was posessed, and he asked Ransom very quietly: I like boners with caramel and cherry sauce. "AGAIN???? Ok but it's the last time" Ransom said.

    Meanwhile, while Ransom went out to get the cherry sauce, he saw MrBill and MAD_BOY doing nothing of interest on the bushes, so he decided to... join and they had a great time in the bushes, until policeman [sM]Boss arrested them for having...fun. Cause boss wanted that they had... free internet access from tisd.net, including email with spamfilter and Ransom in garlic sauce with garlic bread and they were sentenced by Boss to take the next plane to Amsterdam to smoke some weed, so they...would have real "nederwiet". Now most people think what's nederwiet, so ransom tells them in a psycho way: Hey, I know how to say bosnar which is dutch and means forest clown, so back off. Besides backwards my name is mosnar which is moss clown in Dutch!

    So Ransom was sentenced to lick the moss, by judge julie in sex court, while his girlfriend... Cray really liked clipping his toe nails. And he decided to share the salami, he just bought at the butcher, with eAi. But eAi punched everyone with a big tofu ball, because he was a vegetarian.

    Suddenly IJs had a craving for KFC...so IJS went to the KFC house to talk to them but he fell downstairs... he wondered why this KFC was a house and he sued them for all they're worth for falling down the staircase, he claimed a plunger was placed at the top of the staircase. The next moment Robpol86 popped up and directed all KFC members to his brand new Tisd.net van he got from his boss the day before, when they were all in, he unzipped his pants and they started... playing pattycake while Kent showed up at the door, saw this, and got sad cos they didnt let him in the game. They just played with Kent watching it. He was so sad that he took a hammer and... broke a window at the Wall o mart while Vass was... masturbating in the KFC kitchen preparing the "special sauce" for the food.

    Kent came back, not only to find vass masturbating, but DeathB was by his side giving himself the time, then DgtaDude joined in.

    The Next day the kitchen was full of a sticky white liquid, women seem to like to bath in it until ransom thought he would have a try and... then he realized he was being posessed by dark, so he stomped a mudhole in dark and threw him into the vat o' white liquid.

    After a year of nonsense going on...ransom and ijs met up at the KFC coffe house to change money to drugs. bad luck for ransom he wanted to pay with japanese money but ijs wast pleased and...Excited, he got his Gun and !!BANG!! shot himself in the head, ransom sat there laughing because he had the drugs and the money...

    7000 years later, Wheelman's great great grandson started to play MTA, for Grand Theft Auto: Pluto. He dominated people left and right, and eventually met a guy named {ULK}DeathZ who was a very late predecessor of Gary and.. DeathZ owned Wheelman(aka batman)'s great grandson cause he actually was a n00b.

    Suddenly MrBump came and said: "Ill ban u both for being so lame. Get out of this game or i will slap u."

    Then came the real batman back and said i invented a time machine...AND DECIDED TO RULE THE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH........but then suddenly vass stole his time machine and kicked batman back to 1914... He was left there. Sux for him. Just then DeathZ tried to figure out how MrBump was still alive... it was his scripts! THEY ARE SO ADVANCED! They now create and improve themselves! They work using donkeys. Donkeys owned the world but got trapped into 1 of bumps scripts so bump.... hooked the donkey up to the computer to upgrade it from steam power.

    Then happened an accident and all the donkey died. Now bump and DeathZ had to get batman back to their teahouse to drink some tea and eat biscuits, batman said i don't like tea and biscuits i aint a british :o and ransom turned around and bitchslapped him, there was a big fight.. at the end of it.. batmans ass was red cos everybody slapped him, ransom had to buy a new beer bottle he had broken and deathz went to the hospital wit a broken leg...

    The hostpital security said: "ur not allowed in cos ur gay :o off." But deathz... thought: "let's kick him in the balls, but he fainted."

    And suddenly xerox came in and teleported everyone back to the past, but while they were in the teleporter (which was jacked from Batman while he was visiting a coffee shop in Amsterdam), xerox... likes pie. And they went to Germany and laughed at germans.

    Then nikl laughed at them and got klined for antihitlerism. some then unklined nickl and when he came back he was laughed at they klined him again, so he decided to kick his grandpa and laugh at the grandson of DrEaM4D who dominated the world for 5000 years in MTA in future.

    But lets teleport to 5000 years later...

    Everyone was addicted to cheese and classed as a class A drug then Brophy aint it and got soo high it made him want to give all his money and gold to vass.

    He gave but the gold wast real so vass slapped himm and... Phuk came and killed them both. So he runs off with the stuff and... tripped and fell because of a rock, making everything to fall into the near lava river, so phuk jumped in and... burned his ass.

    Now that the zombies came back, the world... blew up and only the only people who survived were dark... and black dragon (actually he isnt a human but what the hey) so they went to mars and dragon built his home in its north pole and dark... but Mr.Bump's kick/ban script didn't like that so he banned his home from the list, but the script didn't work because... the lamas came from mars...

    He was so intelligent he decided to try to fly but wat he forgot was his wings and.... he fell down and broke his teeth.

    OMG deathz is back...but deathz died by a stubby up his ass the only way to die suicide.

    Nick's biological great X14 grandson, nickl269 then grabbed onto a staf and rubbed his hand along it shouting "i am the king" then his hand got lower and lower into his pants...and he touched his toes!

    Meanwhile at the other end of the galaxy... Mr.Bill ate a bag of marijuana so he went in sleep and... shit himself because windows got a blue screen! Some computer :o call it the blue screen of death because it is a blue screen and it kills people by turning them to stone(d)!! while bill was shitting himself betty was making a big soup made out of pussy hair! 10 kittens where killed.... and somehow Mr. Bill decided to lick the blue screen and suddenly it disappeared. He reported the blue screen solution to Microsoft and Microsoft brought out Windows Update with lick support, but then the RIAA came bitchin on Microsoft cause they didnt want people to.... download movies, because those movies pay the camera men, the janitors, the light fixers, the makeup guys, not just the... MTA Team. And of course, the MTA team needed that money, or else they would not get their... soup for the day. Aeron kills, stabs, muders, kicks, rapes, beats, licks, trows, clowns, pokes IJs to death because he edited MY story without permission.Nick then carries off the body to the laboratory to carry out genetic research about ijs humaness(humanity?). Then he puts him on the table and puts some cables into his head. He counts down 3..2..1 and puts down a switch. Ijs wakes up and gets a stone to.... rub on his nipples so ijs gets hot and they start both... feeling each others asses and [VCK]KEZZ@ looks astounded at that dirty behaviour, and bd slaps kezza for double posting AGAIN, and wonders off to his own stuff. at the same time, on the other side of the galaxy, El Burro exiles himself from Planet Party Server because he was Drunk and Disorderly and should be ashamed calling Nika rude names such as... RACIST!!!then came vass and made the next page... while eating some pears, yum....then hes slave vendetta came in... and sat on Vasses knee. When asked what he wanted for Christmas, Utopia replied...

  2. Once upon the time there was the MTA Team. There was also gta, that didn't had mp in it, but soon Zeus went to sleep.

    Then Timmy got heart disease! Zeus little son Ares went to help Timmy, but they both died.

    Then Ransom woke up. Ransom ran and ran to a great place, where Posty goes and kills him with his m60. But then MAD_BOY comes en kicks Posty's ass, that makes Aeron do anything but stay on topic. Then IJs walks in with an owned stick and proudly exclaims "ALL YOUR CAPSLOCKS ARE BELONG TO US!!1 But suddenly he was kicked for CAPS, and then "nickl245 did come, spam and it was good.

    Two days later... MrBill walked in with his goats, the goats mooed for some odd reason, and MrBill humped me. me liked it and thought MrBill was the coolest moderator EVER! But now he isnt, so MrBill shot utopia and killed him.

    Then, MrBill soiled himself and started humping the goats, but something happened and a goat ran away, because he humped it to hard. So he fetched his lube and some sheep bait.

    Then a lamer named nikl came over and sucked everyone off the end of his Vacuum cleaner while he was wearing his poofy gay apron and weilding a picket sign saying: "Phuk j00 Rule, Sign 0n my Bo0bieZz!!1" .

    Next the lamer n1ckl245 was caught ironing in his maid costume by the mta crew, he was sentenced to an asskicking, it was mutual. The asskicking began and went too far, thus the expression "An April Fools joke, gone bad.

    But EL Burro was having fun, he was just about to whip out his Chainsaw singing "Im a littleTeapot" when... Phuk came and sliced him with the chainsaw and said "APRIL FOOLS" then, DrEaM4D was puking @ his little chainsaw and showing him his big old friend.

    Then,boss came in, slapped El Burro with a 'YOUR MY DADDY' sig and found bill humping a goat in El Burro's 'YOU CAN BE OUR MEAT' truck... and he died because the sheep was wielding a stubby shotgun, next it ran to the local Wal-Mart because it needed condoms but when it got there, to its great misfortune, it saw that the store was closed.

    So the sheep made their own condom and tried it on nikl, cause nikl is weilding a katana, that then stabbed the goat and then got stabbed into El Burro's belly that then got open and droped the drugs.Then the sheep fell on burros 'menu'(the bloody drugs!!!) and landed on nikl's katana.... then smeg head got confused and blew Nikl's face off with a stubby, found trying to escape, Posty and the rest of ULK go after Smeg to get his stubby but Phuk stops and kills all of ulk.

    Then... admin Aeron kicked Phuk out of the game for suspected cheater. Phuk go so pissed off he got IJs to kline aeron from irc permanently.

    There after Kent fell madly in love with Robpol and Robpol didn't exactly complain. They then set off into the sunset and lived happily ever after in an ice cream truck filled with pink dildos and ky jelly.

    Suddenly they spot Mr Bill running towards them, too busy to notice they shrug their shoulders and get back to eating the Jelly. Mr Bill climbs in the Truck and lets the Handbrake go, the truck then starts speeding down a hill towards a... rock and the truck blows up. But... MrBill and Kent survive, rob is dead and goes to Hell where he spends the rest of eternity eating Bison Puke and drinking the devils nasty juices. But MrBill and Kent then went to the Malibu, they ordered many tequilas and things got a little out of hand...

    They went to go rape nickl, and nickl seemed to like it. Then phuk came and nikl raped phuk and phuk seemed to like it more than nikl so nikl went in the kitchen to cook some... sausage for zoot and zoot seemed to like it so much that nikl gave zoot more of his sausage.

    Then zoot ate the sausage with eggs and waffles and it was good. phuk started crying because he didnt have any... balls to have his... breakfast?!?!?...

    So anyway, smeg went out shopping and bought some cheese, peperoni and...bacon to bake everyone a... lovely stubby supper, complete with garlic bread and molotov, but smeg overcooked it so he gave it to a bum, the bum ate the burnt supper and ... he died.

    So then a big, huge fight started and... then Wheelman's massive penis made them stop arguing, and get to being jealous... and Wheelman's Mum was standing there infront of wheelman and he realised he had dreamt having a massive penis... and his mom was playing with it.

    Everyone was scared and said... MADBOY STOP WATCHING UR PORNO!!! And MADBOY said... it's from rob!

    But then Ransom walked in and called Robpol86 a BOSNAR! Then Robpol said SOB just before his boss BUSTED him while he was extracting dextromethropolithan (drug) from cough sirup at his work. Then the boss called him a SOB and suddenly the phone rang again and some corny tisd.net customer said he knew robert pooley because he heard the well known phone call between Ransom and Robpol.

    And while Ransom was calling Kent with his free long-distance calls, he was also busy at work trying to mate big chinese pandas. He sprayed them with green flourescent spray paint to make them more attractive.

    The pandas not only mated, they..Ran around and gave eachother blowjobs and orgys....and [LsL]Dark helped them. Meanwhile curly was whining about his forum idiot rank, while everyone knows that he is an idiot, so they said... YATTA! and they all made madboyphpwiki-1.3.9 and published it on sourceforge.net, they named it after madboy because he was busted after being mounted by a huge animal in his...school bag.

    IJs started to melt and almost everyone began to cry, MrBill came in and asked for his.. goats, his goats were scared of him, so they ran into ransom, ransom took one and said: "Hello there u sexy thing - want to do what dark did to those pandas?" So the sheep ran away again, cause they tought it was bill in costume.

    They found a great site and they downloaded..... Vice City then they got mta, so the sheep met another sheep online and communitcated using bah bah and shit, and 1 of em got offended by the bah bah and shot the other sheep in the face and took his nose off, then the sheep jumped through the monitor onto the other sheep (undamaged) and dropped his nose on him then the sheep undamaged did a ninja kickflip and started to kick the shit outta the sheep with no nose, then the sheep with no nose... decided Talidan, MrBill, MAD_BOY and Robpol86 (which was revived again) should visit a youth hostel in the UK.

    So they did, and in the middle of the night Robpol86 woke Ransom, it seemed like Robpol was posessed, and he asked Ransom very quietly: I like boners with caramel and cherry sauce. "AGAIN???? Ok but it's the last time" Ransom said.

    Meanwhile, while Ransom went out to get the cherry sauce, he saw MrBill and MAD_BOY doing nothing of interest on the bushes, so he decided to... join and they had a great time in the bushes, until policeman [sM]Boss arrested them for having...fun. Cause boss wanted that they had... free internet access from tisd.net, including email with spamfilter and Ransom in garlic sauce with garlic bread and they were sentenced by Boss to take the next plane to Amsterdam to smoke some weed, so they...would have real "nederwiet". Now most people think what's nederwiet, so ransom tells them in a psycho way: Hey, I know how to say bosnar which is dutch and means forest clown, so back off. Besides backwards my name is mosnar which is moss clown in Dutch!

    So Ransom was sentenced to lick the moss, by judge julie in sex court, while his girlfriend... Cray really liked clipping his toe nails. And he decided to share the salami, he just bought at the butcher, with eAi. But eAi punched everyone with a big tofu ball, because he was a vegetarian.

    Suddenly IJs had a craving for KFC...so IJS went to the KFC house to talk to them but he fell downstairs... he wondered why this KFC was a house and he sued them for all they're worth for falling down the staircase, he claimed a plunger was placed at the top of the staircase. The next moment Robpol86 popped up and directed all KFC members to his brand new Tisd.net van he got from his boss the day before, when they were all in, he unzipped his pants and they started... playing pattycake while Kent showed up at the door, saw this, and got sad cos they didnt let him in the game. They just played with Kent watching it. He was so sad that he took a hammer and... broke a window at the Wall o mart while Vass was... masturbating in the KFC kitchen preparing the "special sauce" for the food.

    Kent came back, not only to find vass masturbating, but DeathB was by his side giving himself the time, then DgtaDude joined in.

    The Next day the kitchen was full of a sticky white liquid, women seem to like to bath in it until ransom thought he would have a try and... then he realized he was being posessed by dark, so he stomped a mudhole in dark and threw him into the vat o' white liquid.

    After a year of nonsense going on...ransom and ijs met up at the KFC coffe house to change money to drugs. bad luck for ransom he wanted to pay with japanese money but ijs wast pleased and...Excited, he got his Gun and !!BANG!! shot himself in the head, ransom sat there laughing because he had the drugs and the money...

    7000 years later, Wheelman's great great grandson started to play MTA, for Grand Theft Auto: Pluto. He dominated people left and right, and eventually met a guy named {ULK}DeathZ who was a very late predecessor of Gary and.. DeathZ owned Wheelman(aka batman)'s great grandson cause he actually was a n00b.

    Suddenly MrBump came and said: "Ill ban u both for being so lame. Get out of this game or i will slap u."

    Then came the real batman back and said i invented a time machine...AND DECIDED TO RULE THE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH........but then suddenly vass stole his time machine and kicked batman back to 1914... He was left there. Sux for him. Just then DeathZ tried to figure out how MrBump was still alive... it was his scripts! THEY ARE SO ADVANCED! They now create and improve themselves! They work using donkeys. Donkeys owned the world but got trapped into 1 of bumps scripts so bump.... hooked the donkey up to the computer to upgrade it from steam power.

    Then happened an accident and all the donkey died. Now bump and DeathZ had to get batman back to their teahouse to drink some tea and eat biscuits, batman said i don't like tea and biscuits i aint a british :o and ransom turned around and bitchslapped him, there was a big fight.. at the end of it.. batmans ass was red cos everybody slapped him, ransom had to buy a new beer bottle he had broken and deathz went to the hospital wit a broken leg...

    The hostpital security said: "ur not allowed in cos ur gay :o off." But deathz... thought: "let's kick him in the balls, but he fainted."

    And suddenly xerox came in and teleported everyone back to the past, but while they were in the teleporter (which was jacked from Batman while he was visiting a coffee shop in Amsterdam), xerox... likes pie. And they went to Germany and laughed at germans.

    Then nikl laughed at them and got klined for antihitlerism. some then unklined nickl and when he came back he was laughed at they klined him again, so he decided to kick his grandpa and laugh at the grandson of DrEaM4D who dominated the world for 5000 years in MTA in future.

    But lets teleport to 5000 years later...

    Everyone was addicted to cheese and classed as a class A drug then Brophy aint it and got soo high it made him want to give all his money and gold to vass.

    He gave but the gold wast real so vass slapped himm and... Phuk came and killed them both. So he runs off with the stuff and... tripped and fell because of a rock, making everything to fall into the near lava river, so phuk jumped in and... burned his ass.

    Now that the zombies came back, the world... blew up and only the only people who survived were dark... and black dragon (actually he isnt a human but what the hey) so they went to mars and dragon built his home in its north pole and dark... but Mr.Bump's kick/ban script didn't like that so he banned his home from the list, but the script didn't work because... the lamas came from mars...

    He was so intelligent he decided to try to fly but wat he forgot was his wings and.... he fell down and broke his teeth.

    OMG deathz is back...but deathz died by a stubby up his ass the only way to die suicide.

    Nick's biological great X14 grandson, nickl269 then grabbed onto a staf and rubbed his hand along it shouting "i am the king" then his hand got lower and lower into his pants...and he touched his toes!

    Meanwhile at the other end of the galaxy... Mr.Bill ate a bag of marijuana so he went in sleep and... shit himself because windows got a blue screen! Some computer :o call it the blue screen of death because it is a blue screen and it kills people by turning them to stone(d)!! while bill was shitting himself betty was making a big soup made out of pussy hair! 10 kittens where killed.... and somehow Mr. Bill decided to lick the blue screen and suddenly it disappeared. He reported the blue screen solution to Microsoft and Microsoft brought out Windows Update with lick support, but then the RIAA came bitchin on Microsoft cause they didnt want people to.... download movies, because those movies pay the camera men, the janitors, the light fixers, the makeup guys, not just the... MTA Team. And of course, the MTA team needed that money, or else they would not get their... soup for the day. Aeron kills, stabs, muders, kicks, rapes, beats, licks, trows, clowns, pokes IJs to death because he edited MY story without permission.Nick then carries off the body to the laboratory to carry out genetic research about ijs humaness(humanity?). Then he puts him on the table and puts some cables into his head. He counts down 3..2..1 and puts down a switch. Ijs wakes up and gets a stone to.... rub on his nipples so ijs gets hot and they start both... feeling each others asses and [VCK]KEZZ@ looks astounded at that dirty behaviour, and bd slaps kezza for double posting AGAIN, and wonders off to his own stuff. at the same time, on the other side of the galaxy, El Burro exiles himself from Planet Party Server because he was Drunk and Disorderly and should be ashamed calling Nika rude names such as...

  3. I think its sumthing to do with them being in other gangs...

    hey burro how about i spam kfc's thread, wouldn't make much difference, say what isn't spam in there anyway

    our thread's point isn't to stay up in topic listings anymore- like some others i could but wont mention-,it's to inform anyone that cares of the hotdog clans news and new members etc.

    If the thread falls it falls, we dont have people working shifts like kfc to keep it at the top, go spam elsewhere.

    I'll keep it quick. Shut up.

    We have 37 active members, we don't need ppl working "Shifts" :P

  4. Yep, waiting on the leader. If Kung was to dissapear for a few months im sure KFC would still carry on even if we are a bunch of incompetent fools.

    Untill that day comes, your all gonna have to hold your breath and wait, but not us, noooooooooooooooo; we're ready ya see! :P

  5. I RECORDED IT AND PUT IT ALL DOWN IN TEXT IN MY OWN SPECIAL WAY

    I put it up on the KFC forum a while ago, and yeah, that bastard lawyer's song made me cringe.

    Read it all for yer self, its flawless... :)

    VICE CITY DOCUMENTARY SCRIPT

    I watched it and some interesting stuff came up that I never thought.

    Im just noting down the relevant bits, the long winded start is just an Intro

    Read it and next time you Americans see a lawyer or Attorney... slap them for me

    Thanks

    IN THE BEGINNING

    Enter two Scottish kids playing our beloved GTA: VC

    "At the moment we're just going' around killing' people" one says

    "For fun" says the other

    He shoots a police car and promptly gets owned.

    He then pulls a funny face for no reason.

    Enter a US Attorney

    "Go watch the Video Game yourself, when you see what your exposing your kids to you'll shudder in horror"

    "Its a training film for Mass Murderers and Serial killers" (both the same arn't they?)

    He mimics a shudder

    Enter a Game Guru

    "The notion, that they don't know that picking up a gun and shooting a person is wrong and saying "The game made me do it"... its ridiculous!"

    We then get to the host of the documentary (in your case its me, Hi there), he tells us that this masterpiece is a Scottish success story and has sold billions of Units around the world.

    Rockstar has an annual turnover of £20 million, and that’s only the UK sales.

    I will ask you a simple question:

    "Is this a Product we can be proud of, or are we teaching kids to kill?"

    A movie of sum1 shooting a cop goes by... I try to resist my temptation to play while watching the documentary

    WELCOME TO VICE CITY

    Cut to the Host, he's in Leith

    Handy to know that I know exactly where he is in Leith, he points out R* North’s HQ and tells us its on the second floor

    I promptly organise a Stakeout for tomorrow, whey!

    Cut to Miami

    "Grand theft Auto is the world’s fastest selling game and a marketing success in a world where Games now earn more than movie tickets sales"

    Cut to sum one doing crap driving an Infernus.

    "There have been takeovers and Buyouts but the Game is still made by a Scottish company called "Rockstar North", originally called "DMA Design""

    Cut to PS2 GTA loading screen, cut down from 20 mins loading time to about 5 seconds, very fake

    "And its brightest light is its latest addition to the Series; Vice City"

    "But Rockstar are a secretive and Publicity shy bunch" He continues

    "This is a rare BBC interview from last year with one of Rockstars Managers, Sam Houser"

    "He comes clean that Vice City was inspired by a Cult 80's cop show, "Miami Vice""

    Cut to Sam Houser, who working for R*NY i thought was American, turns out to be British (not English, English have no reason to be part of Scotland’s economy!)

    "I started watching episodes of Miami Vice and what stuck out at me was each episode was like a mission you could have in a game"

    "I started playing Episode to guys in the team and they were like "Oh, God dude, what are you doing! look at Tom Johnson (is that right?) in that horrible suit!""

    "I replied to that with "No, no! You've got to get into it, what’s wrong with a pair of espadrilles"

    Enter them 2 annoying Scots kids again who outline the objectives of the game, they look like they've given up on the missions and spend all day picking up prostitutes

    They then say sum stuff that makes me cringe like: "If yer really good at it and complete the game, you pretty much own everything and can do anything you want and you are basically, The Man"

    Obviously they don't have a clue; you have to hear it to cringe

    Enter Sam Houser who gives us a speech on the non-linear game play, not relevant to the matter at hand

    Enter Host

    "Its the non linear game play and 3D interactive world that was the break through for the industry, officially rated "18" or "M" in the US its hugely popular with much younger children" (Cue my 6 year old brother and MR.X )

    Enter them 2 annoying kids again, showing us the art of picking up Prostitutes "Tee Hee" they all cry, irrelevant stuff

    Enter Host

    "But last year the Press took on a different tone when tragedy struck the small Tennessee town of Newport"

    One man died and a Woman was injured when driving down Interstate 40

    LETS GO KILL PEOPLE

    They show several movies of interviews with cops at the scene, the first says:

    “I heard they’re had been a shooting on the interstate; they thought it was a Sniper shooting”

    “At first I thought it was a car accident until I saw a bullet wound in the victim and we decided to seal off the area”

    (Then the TV screw, I smack it a few times and the picture comes back, in a surprisingly better reception)

    A woman shows us where the killer stood and fired random shots into the traffic on the Interstate. The two boys convicted were William Buckner who is 16 and his 13 year old step brother Joshua who took 2 Rifles from a locked closet in their home and hid in trees near the Interstate and fired at the cars. The boys then returned to the area when police arrived to “see what had happened”

    “Surly its wasn’t those boys, they come from good families” says an ex-copper

    They both pleaded guilty at a Juvenile Court, but gave a very crude statement:

    The Blamed Grand Theft Auto for their actions

    Could a game be successfully blamed for these random shootings???

    DISHING THE DIRT

    The boys parents, obviously distraught with this turn of events, accepted their plea and they were sent to prison until they were 19 or Paroled.

    They blame the games industry and are dishing the dirt to get GTA taken off the shelves (At which point I shout “NOOOOO!” and Smeghead tells me to shut up)

    But, THERE IS A GOD! And it comes in the form of Convicts and Criminals. The Buckner’s have had a series of threats from Gang members, their message is simple:

    Ban our best game, and we’ll kill you!

    Enter the Ex-copper

    “No matter what people believe, these boys are responsible for their actions. There is lots of violence on TV, in Movies; lots of people see war and lots of people participate in… Violent video games but they don’t go out and kill anyone”

    Enter Miami and Lawyer “John B. Thompson”, AKA “Jack” (20 points for imagination), a hardened protester against Violent Video games and who is gunning for R* North. He is trying to like violent Video games with teenage killings, targeting the GTA series and the Newport shootings where right up his street.

    He is suing R* for £16 million (pocket money for these guys!)

    He says:

    “We are suing everyone for these victims, including the Boys, their parents, Wal-Mart that sold the game and Rockstar for designing a game that THEY KNEW (

    No one at R* would come forward and defend the game

    Enter the ESA Guru, quick to counter the claims of the Buckner boys

    “They broke into a gun cabinet to get a gun and go shoot people in a very, pre-meditated way, they committed a violent act. To say it was the game that drove them is shift responsibility and accountability for what are immoral actions”

    The shitty lawyer comes back into focus, I cringe

    “Adults are marketing these Adult games to children; know these murders are taking place because of them, even though they say the killings are not connected to the games… I think theirs plenty of blame to go around, and I think they are accountable for money damages” (ah, its all clear now, he’s in it for the money. Don’t you just want to drown him in his 50 ft swimming pool and steal his luxury convertible SLK Kompressor?)

    Enter the ESA Guru

    “The fact that these mature teenagers, young Adults have no notion that picking up a gun and walking into the School Yard or going to a highway over pass and shooting people is stupid and wrong, and somehow “a video game made me do it”, its ridiculous!”

    But another Miami lawyer is after R*. He is Barry Silver and is representative of several Haitian groups… he says Vice City encourages Racial Hatred.

    There’s several missions in the game where you are asked, in a rather Violent manner, to wipe out a Haitian Street gang on behalf of their Cuban rivals (We all know this bit don’t we. I won’t go on)

    They show a Clip of Um Berto Robina (who im sure is El Burro’s cousin) in the mission “Cannon Fodder”, y’kow “You drive good” “For a woman right” “THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKING!”… Yep, ok

    Enter the most annoying Lawyer ever, tries to make funny rhymes up like:

    “Killing is thrilling”

    “Its fun to use a gun”

    URGH!!

    He spoils the rhymes by saying “Taking a life is entertaining”, which doesn’t rhyme

    All the above in a bad text

    “They make them believe that Genocide is just play (my mate Dave would agree)”

    “The moral abyss that these manufacturers have now entered hits a new low”

    Enter annoying Haitian man who says in his native tongue (French)

    “Kids are like an empty bottle. What you put in there is what you get, so in the next 20 years their going to have F-15’s (Fighter jets? All of us?) And today we are teaching them (We wouldn’t play it if we were getting taught) to kill Haitians. What happens in the next 25 years? So, when they have F-15’s they pass over Haiti and they can drop bombs on Haiti, and that because when they were kids they play these games and taught them- KILL ALL HAITIANS!”

    Obviously a paranoid crazy, we all grew up with Mario and Sonic, I still haven’t got to the stage where I run around collecting gold coins with a friend who’s a Mushroom. Is my highest hope in life to become a plumber and kill turtles just because I was brought up in the medieval period of gaming? Com on!

    But Barry Silver has landed a punch and R* has agreed to take out offensive material in future games (THAT’S LIKE TAKING THE GERMANS OUT OF WW2! Don’t kill Germans, it offends them! Replace them with Turtles!)

    Barry says

    “This is like a dangerous product, its poison in food. Its like them saying “Ok, we’ll take the poison out of the food but the stuff with the poison already in the food stays””

    “We’re not seeking money (Yeah right), we’re seeking an injunction, we want the game PULLED FROM THE SHELVES (remember the Gang Lords threatening the Buckner’s? Mmm, I wonder?), the legislator is completely irresponsible, stores are irresponsible, Parents who buy these games are irresponsible. The legislators are poisoning these kids minds for money” (well, it’s a fun poison  )

    The case is waiting for the go ahead with the Court in Palm Beach county, in the mean time Barry is keeping up the pressure, he wants R* to sit up, and listen

    The Lawyer called Barry then tells us he wrote a song.

    He sings it.

    I cringe

    That’s made me crack and I not even going to write it down or listen to it!

    Moving on…

    A BIT OF SCIENCE HELPS

    Enter two less annoying Scots kids who share a passion for out door games and Grand Theft Auto. (From the outset, both are crap at Snow Boarding btw )

    They both speak the obvious “A game is a game and you shouldn’t shoot people and blame it on a game. When I play GTA, I don’t have the urge go on a rampage, and I can’t see how others can either”

    Enter the two annoying Scots kids getting shot at by cops and getting owned again

    Irrelevant stuff

    A child physiologist says:

    “When you ask children if this Game makes people more violent socially, they look at you as if you’re Barmy because they know a game is a game, and that’s what they say “It’s only a game, for heavens sake!””

    The lawyer called Jack comes back, he says

    “We’ve had the heads of 6 major health care organisations (look who’s Violent, you decapitated the workers of 6 health care organisations. Sorry, it was and Ironic choice of word, lol) testify jointly in front of the United States congress including the President of the American Medical Association issuing a direct link between Violent video game play and Teenage killings”

    The ESA Guru is back! He says:

    “I’ve seen the report, I know what it says and I’ve looked at the most independent studies that have been done. The Government of Australia did a study a few months ago, they looked into all the research into violent video games, and they say there is no reason to conclude that violent games lead to aggressive behaviour, the President of the American Medical Association said Yes, it does cause Violence but concluded that at best, it may have some SHORT TERM affects that give way to AGGRESSIVE THOUGHT, which is very different to aggressive behaviour” (So MEH, Jack)

    Enter Mr Psychologist again

    “From the early 1990’s, records show a very steep decline in Juvenile crime and violence, exactly the time Video games started to become more popular and Marketed. I can’t see how any respectable person can link the two, video games and crime, together. Worry not Parents, it’s a silly notion”

    Enter those two annoying kids again, giggling like girls while in the Pole Position Club. One of the sadac’s whistles intimidating, Smeghead mimes shooting the bastard.

    Enter the Boys Mothers, who are happy to let them play VC. We get told they are both 13, therefore, they’re only children and have a licence to giggle.

    One mum says

    “Its quite embarrassing when you pick up the controller (this is the PS2 version) and the kids get bored instantly seeing their mum weaving around in a car trying to go in a straight line. I have no regrets letting them play Video games, I know and they know they are both mature enough to know not to shoot people in reality”

    The other Says:

    “At the end of the day you are responsible for your kids and looking after them well. As a parent you call the shots, I would be worried about him if all he did was get up in the morning at 9 and that was him until 10 at night, playing video games and not communicating with anyone, but that’s not the case, and its one of the activities he enjoys and I wouldn’t take it away”

    Enter the Psychologist yet again

    “In the society we live in today Computer games are part of a Childs social structure and taking them away limits they’re possibilities for social relationships and leads to poor development” (Trust me, this is true. I know a guy called Richard and the only game he has is WRC 1997 for the PC, a Windows 95 and its not even the full version, it’s a Demo, lol! Everyone hates him, he has a face like a starved and beaten Mule, blotchy with bucked teeth and braces. I call him “Pylon Face”, evolved from his old name “Pie Face”. Every one else calls him “Shit face” now, as evolved from the old “Pie Face”)

    Mummy #1 says:

    “This is the 21st Century version of Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians that we used to play when we were kids. To them killing someone is basically the same as when we used to say “Bang Bang Your dead””

    Jack Shit the LAWYER says

    “My recognition is that this would be a better world if Video games were banned (I doubt Bin Laden or Suddam ever played Vice City) but realistically I think the Genie is out of that bottle and all I can really hope for is the Industry to stop marketing and selling the Adult rated , Hyper-Violent (oooh, Hyper-Violence, like the sound of that) games to at least children”

    But a law suit in America wouldn’t just damage R* North, it would damage a massive chunk of Scotland’s Economy (About 95% Grand Theft Auto, 3% Cashmere, 2% is Short Bread, Haggis and Bagpipes; the rest is Tourism, mostly Danish folk) and one that’s building a global reputation. Rockstar employs 500 people and had a basic turnover last year of £20 million, and that’s just UK sales. Insiders say it would be tragic to let anti-game hype cripple a multi-billion £/$ industry.

    THE END IS NIGH

    “So, what is future for R* North I hear you cry?” says our Host buddy

    “Well, later this year they are going to release yet another GTA set in a fictional San Francisco and there are rumours of an Online version (Rumours, are we all just a rumour?!) R* North are already noting that the potential of an Imaginary crime ridden Universe in Cyber space and can be as nasty to people as they like, which is going to be good for the Scotland’s gaming industry”

    Our Host compadre walks off down a path which morphs into a VC street, with Espantoso Musak playing in the background, the Credits run.

    Credits

    WRITER: EL BURRO

    PRODUCER: EL BURRO

    DIRECTROR: EL BURRO

    THE ENDIO (thank fuck!)

  6. I really think they should remove the strong weapons to begin with, go find the weapons instead of strting with the best ones. I think everyone should start with somthing simple like a Pistol, Revolver or a Melee weapon and then u go hunt the better weapons down. This may even solve the annoying Spawn Wars at the Airport or on Prawn Island.

    Get out and fight properly!!!

  7. pump_it_up and ACT_LIKE_A_FOOL are both cheap little cheaters

    Sobeit, stfu u n00b, calling u a n00b is the only thing I can do coz really, u are. You have no mates in reality and are making enemies all over the world like a little fucking Terrorist and it would be in the best intrest to us if you just walked away and blew your self up like one.

  8. Coz in 15 years time, you'll proberly get HL2 in a cereal box along with another Retro game like Driver 3, SA, Doom 3... its insane how the world works. This years great games are in 15 years gonna be Breakfast fodder... :roll:

  9. Armour pickups, definatley

    Sailors don't re-heal

    Larger range of ppl (like the chef, SWAT guy, French bloke ect) like on the Stunt servers

    Cash bounties (see below)

    Poorer weapons to begin with, have to earn better weapon by killing ppl for them and thier money

    Ability to buy weapons at Ammunation and Phils place

    Ability to Re-Spray cars

    Cash Bounties

    -----------------

    I reckon you should get cash bounties for everyone you kill wich you could spend on better weapons at Ammunation. The highest scoring person on the server has the most cash on his head. Newer players in the server have less... if any. This would deter ppl from killing folk who have just entered the game and focus on killing people higher up than them who have more weapons, Armour and money for which they can then go buy their own guns and Armour at Ammunation.

  10. Well, if you still only own GTA3 by the time SA comes out, I think ya should get beaten with a large Caber across the head. Now you mention it, I doubt they'll want to spoil the MTA teams fun at making us these dodgey online MODs :)

    Well, by the time SA comes out, maybe 0.5 will be well into production, but then again, by the time it comes to PC, 0.7 will be in production and we'll all be wrinkly old bastards. A slight over exaggeration, if only slight.

    And Vass, its not a skirt. Its only a skirt if you wear yer pants underneath, if you don't, yer a Scot and its a Kilt. Anyway, only them Neanderthal, club bearing Highland bastards wear Kilts, I tend to wear Trousers coz its a more sensible way to dress... and anyway, kilt fabric gives you a rash :)

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